And I feel bad for whinging about my deficits, why can I not just get over stuff like this? I should be able to just stand up for myself, say what needs to be said and not get all emotional.

I wish I could pinpoint exactly why I react like this....I didn't used to. I would become hard and cold and shoot someone down, take not crap from anyone....now I don't have that ability.

I want to be kind, and not hurt others....and so I end up more hurt......I should just go back to being a hard cold unfeeling witch!