I remember when I called my T after 9 years (I'd seen her for 9 years 9 years before :-) and made an appointment and we finally got together again, at the end of the first session she asked me did I think we could work well together?!!!! I mumbled something about either that or I was jumping off the nearest bridge :-)

I think it's hard to want something and have its outcome "up in the air" and so casual; I forget and don't trust that my judgment is pretty sound and what I think will work, others usually think will work too :-)