Sorry, I can be very confusing sometimes.

I'm trying to understand how Borderline Personality Disorder works and why those who suffer from it act as they do.

Your assessment of the confusion between dysphoria and contentment aren't far off the mark, though.

I began with a new therapist about 4 months ago. Prior to that, in 2003, I began therapy for the first time which lasted for a little over 4 years. When I say I have been dealing with it for that 10 years, I mean that while I have not always had professional help, I have read voraciously everything I can get my hands on regarding the subject of BPD and children of BPD mothers, and my frustration stems from my thinking I understand the disorder only to find that I don't.

Does that make more sense? I'm really tired, it's really late, and I should probably stop posting now.

Thanks for responding though. I really needed that.