I'm ready to move on for good. But that doesn't stop me missing the memories. I miss the first few months so, so, so, so, so much. We were perfect at the time. But I guess all relationships start off perfect, and then the real person comes out. I still regret the fact that if I wasn't so open with him, maybe I would have stayed perfect to him and he would have loved me as much as one before me, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I shouldn't focus on how he felt, but merely focus on myself and how I can find my self-esteem again.

I can't believe one year has passed already, it feels like yesterday that we first met and I was so happy. I wish I could relive the feeling of excitement, of feeling special, of feeling beautiful to just one person. But he was a different person back then. And that person is now gone.

On a side note, it seems I have a lot of obsessive thoughts, which is why I cannot stop thinking about him. It wasn't particularly that he was the one, or that he was that worth it, or that we were perfect for each other, it's just my extreme nostalgia/sentimental nature that forever stopped me from ending it myself, or from moving on without feeling extreme grief.