Thanks you. I am 24 btw.
And I hope no one taked the 'how have I not developed an ED yet' offensively. Its only meant that I get so depressed after eating, especially alot and self hating that I don't understand why I haven't snapped.

Its something I have wantes for years ( as long as I can remember, pre teen ish or a bit before, even as a kid I knew I was over weight) yet I can not control my eating! Wtf is wrong with me?! I am so tempted to try all these diet pills ( even though I am sure their claims are mostly false) but I heard mixed reviews about their effects on birth control but why do I sabotage myself. Why can't I just say no, why do I have do for second serverings?! WHY. --calming down -- why haven't I snapped and just stopped eating or got my **** under control?! Is there something wrong in my head, besides what I already know.

I spoke to my shrink and he did not have much to say. I am thinking of finding one that deals with people who eating problems maybe he/she can give me some insight. Again thanks for listening (cough cough..reading)

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