Pretty much recovered from gall bladder surgery a few weeks ago. If I wasn't crazy I'd be happy about that, but of course I'm not. Being really sick gave me something else to focus on, and now I'm back focusing on my thoughts and they are never good. Swinging from hypomania to depression in a matter of hours, so I have wonderful ideas but can't sustain the energy to complete anything. Feel like I am racing towards death faster and faster, like it's all over and there is nothing left but to endure every awful day.