It might feel like a solution, or a temporary fix, but it only ends up being yet another problem, and since you're feeling this is at is, I suggest you don't add another one. I feel like crap, ... sure, I'd like to take out on the "outside", but ultimately, all it will do is put my health at risk, worry those that care, screw my body up even more, possibly risk my chance at getting a place of my own, and be yet another problem of mine that I would have to fix.

Not worth it. That said, neither is using alcohol to solve a problem. I suggest seeing a doctor. You shouldn't be feeling that desperate. Just so you know, though, you're so very far from being alone. There's so many people going through at least something similar to you.

Hang in there.