thanks gayle, i dont participate in an AA program.... i have social phobia so have trouble with stuff like that but i have been trying to do positive things and keep myself busy; riding around instead of staying locked up in my room

i used to be religious, but during my early teens i "renounced", if you will, the "faith" ; i just had been through alot and read a lot of things and figured at some time that its better for me to not just follow 1 book of rules if that makes sense? no offense to religion! it helps a great deal of people and thats good

sometimes it feels like i have a good handle on the addictions, but then like a switch pops i have urges