Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordy
I know I've been really whiny lately, but this is really a difficult time for me. T really wants me out of the house asap, today I finally gave in made an appointment to maybe enter a group home. It's scheduled for friday 10:30 am, and I'll see T a bit later at 1PM.
I am freaking out, trying to find ways to have the strength to go, to not feel like I'm betraying my family. Also I have a party with some co-workers planned for Friday night, and for now my plan is to drink myself into oblivion, so I will also have to talk about this with T... All I can see is a difficult day and I have no idea how to get through this on my own...
Any pocket riders would be so helpful!
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OMG Jordy, I read this once, without um... taking it in (was distracted by my own stupid post, lol) Then, I returned and read it again.
Read that you had an appointment to see about entering a group home and then to meet with your therapist.
I wish I could come over there and give you a massive HIGH FIVE! And just a big..... huge grin of encouragement and congratulations, and a bear hug if you want one.
Because I can empathize, and I truly know from experience how hard it is too leave home when it feels to soon and too hard and to have that sense of betraying those that raised us.
I left my father's when I was 16. I remember the feelings you described.
I just wanted to tell you that you're being brave, and if you're being true to yourself, you're betraying no one. That things will get much better when you have the perspective that comes from moving out, and that it can get much better.
Honestly... I'd almost never say this... but my feeling is, this one time, if drinking is what is getting you through this, the idea of going out with your friends, well... it probably won't kill you. Because this is a very stressful time. But take good care of yourself. And if oblivion's where you need to be for just a little while.... have a designated driver and maybe do one drink with one water, alternating. The little things can help.
I *would* ride in your pocket, but I'd probably be cheering and distract you, so... I'll just be there in spirit, silent.
I remember how much better things got after I left. It was sad, and hard, but my life got so much better.