yes bronee, i felt the same way when i was younger, felt the only way to be loved was for people to get 'that close' to me and i was abused too by a family friend.

sounds bizarre that people would want to feel loved that way, guess that's how it works and no you are not disgusting freak in the slightest.

low self esteem is another symptom of abuse

my marriage has lasted 19years and i still find it hard to believe he loves me, and still crave that loved feeling.
although i am getting better lol, dont know what took me so long
love you jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo