As long as I can remember it has seemed like everything around me – school, life, family, hobbies, etc. – has reflected that I am a failure, and that continues to be the most clear explanation for my lack of success in anything.
Now, if I am to refrain from referring to myself as a failure, as my therapist, in all her infinite wisdom, says I should, what other explanation exists for my continued lack of success in life?
The first significant failure of my life since I turned 18 (for the sake of length, I’ll cap the list of failures off there) was my inability to succeed in achieving a higher education, notwithstanding my alleged intelligence.
What did I do instead? I went to truck driving school to obtain a CDL because I have been told I am a good driver. How’d that go? I failed it twice – the ONLY student to fail in the school –*and after I completed that I was in a car accident with my car, making my driver safety rating -7 (let me emphasize that…NEGATIVE SEVEN).
Or how about chess. How is it that I can play chess everyday (yes, everyday!), I have studied it, I have books on the subject, etc., but I still can’t win against people that don’t play it regularly at all?
The way it seems to me is that I have failed at virtually everything important in my life, so, please, tell me what other explanations exist for this other than that I am a failure?
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