Sorry, I meant the "white coat" means the one they put me in one and locked me up. The thought of that makes me ill.
My counselor that has been away just phoned. I was typing this when the phone rang. Thank God she is back. She is not just a counselor she is my friend. She has been here for me through all of this. I was able to tell her everything and cry my heart out and she was totally understanding. She wants me to go to the appointment and she will help tomorrow; she will phone my doctors and ask them to post-pone hospital until my kids are at dads. She said as long as I contract with her not to harm myself; she will speak with my doctors as she trusts what I tell her and I made a promise to be safe. I told her I will phone crisis I need be. I trust her wholeheartedly as she has been my "safe outlet" for 2yrs now. So I am going to the appointment. I will be back to tell u all how it went. Its not till 6:30 tonight because he is so busy.
Talk to u soon
itsjustme--scarred out of my mind. Just remind me; its okay.