I'm not sure what options you have but I ended up in the same boat. When I was really bad my therapist dropped me as a patient because I was a "liability" and couldn't afford residential. And then fast forward if someone doesn't know how to handle ED it is sometimes difficult for them to know what not to say as it seems your therapist currently doesn't get that saying you look perfectly fine isn't the best come back. Have you looked at places further away? I drive an hour for mine that has ED experience. It sucks but its better than nothing. Also some larger hospitals have ED clinics that are outpatient. I don't know where you are at but some places just suck at there being ED help available. If you ever want to talk your welcome to message me.