|
I meet with the outpatient ED clinic intake therapist tomorrow. I'm terrified. It will consist of group therapy, nutritionist, medication management/doctor visits, and individual therapy. That is all once a week. Group worries me because I feel like I'm not that bad off and people will think I don't belong. I know it sounds dumb but if I'm not at my worst I don't feel like I deserve help. But I'm tired of going out to eat with my fiance or whoever and having to order off the sides menu because I'm too scared. Or having a set amount of things I eat. Or not even knowing what the heck a normal portion of anything is. I have had this since I can remember in middle school I don't want to be like this forever.
I really hope if I go back to work at my current position they allow me to go. I'd be happy to make up the hours or stay extra late one day. But I know they already don't like me much.
I've never had this opportunity to have this much help. The last time it was bad my therapist dropped me because I was a liability (guess it looks bad if your patient dies) and I couldn't afford residential because I had no insurance so no one would take me. I don't want to miss out on this because my current job doesn't care about my mental health and would rather fire me.
Wish me luck.
|