Hello Daisy! I am new too

I did not find out I was BPD until this year after spending years investigating disorders... the criteria for BPD did not feel like me at all when I was in my twenties and searching. I can see now that it was.

My life began to fall apart at about age 21, with my first symptoms of BPD at 13, I am now 39. I did not believe I was 'depressed', I thought I was crazy and so for a long time I refused help from any doctor who waved an SSRI at me.

Like others above have said, I knew something was wrong with me, that there was some basic component wired incorrectly. The things which led me to believe (early on) that were:

Impulsive response to pain:
I would quit my jobs because I could not tolerate being at work even when we needed the money
I would refuse to do anything I did not want to do even if it hurt other people
I would spend money we didn't have on food to make myself feel better, or games, or anything at the time to comfort me

Emotional Outbursts
I cry uncontrollably, even in public (read: at work LOL) in a stressful situation, especially if I feel like I am being misunderstood, wronged, or that someone is treating me unfairly

NonPerson
I felt like I was different from everyone else, and that people, to me were like aliens. Their lives, desires and behaviors boggled me. I could pretend to be that way, and often even feel that way, but I knew it wasn't me. I was alone.

Self-Harm
I do not self-harm actually (except rarely in extremes), but I feel like a rat in a trap with no exits except that one, so often. Pain for BPD is unbearable. I have invasive suicidal thoughts whenever anything negative or frightening confronts me.

I was dx with BPD (and PPD, GAD, MDD etc!) this year by a clinical psychologist using the personality inventory test and observation (301.83). But last year I had begun to suspect that I was BPD after beginning to look for answers again. My psychiatrist rejected my query for her reasons, which I think are mostly related to poor understanding of the criteria and too much weight lent to severe case studies.

The things which I now could recognize as a problem were the interpersonal related:
- trust/paranoia/destroyed relationships/broken job history/splitting, etc.

The best thing I can recommend is to really examine the criteria and learn about what they mean and apply it to yourself. I feel the main criteria of BPD should be intense emotional pain. The rest of it is what comes because of it. I am not a scientist though, so that's my two cents.