I sought help at the ER for intense SI thoughts. Instead of admitting me to an inpatient psych unit, I was discharged and am being sent to an outpatient Partial Hospital Program.

I went to the intake today for this program.

Instead of feeling grateful that I am getting the help I need, I am feeling more depressed. I'm actually dreading going to the first day.

Having been going through Bipolar depression for a long time, I have been in inpatient and outpatient programs many times. I was doing well for several years, and now I feel like a failure for having to go back yet again. I feel like I am going backward instead of forward.