Johnny & OE thanks....maybe I am too hard on myself and maybe I will learn from this experience also. I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

Teacake...thanks also. An interesting perspective. I wonder if the reflection in the final paragraph you wrote is more pertinent to yourself? For me I am quite clear, if I am unable to control tears, fight to stop them and find myself shaking and having difficulty with my breathe that I am experiencing an emotional flashback response......certainly not manipulating. But thanks for offering up an alternate view.