((( biiv )))

I'm so happy you had a great session and for those wonderful lingering feelings of closeness!

There is a lot to learn about how we connect with someone and why. What we tend to do is to be drawn to the familiar. That is how transference happens, in or out of therapy. Someone can remind you of a loved one and that can make you feel instant fondness for them. It can cross genders too. There is an older man in my complex who is so kind and in a way that reminds me of my kind and loving grandmother, the one shining light in my growing up. I like seeing him and talking to him; it feels warm and familiar to me.

For the same reason, though, someone who hasn't had good relationships has to be careful and sometimes has to learn how to connect with people who are worthy of them. Abused people are familiar with abusive relatioinships and personalities and so that will be familiar to them and they will be drawn to that type of person because of the feeling of familiarity. It is work and can feel like swimming against the tide to learn to connect with trustworthy people.

So I think for some that intstinct (which really isn't but is actually repetition) can be reliable, but for others it is not a good idea. Just wanted to get that out there.

I think it is so cool that your therapist's office is in her house. I love the idea of that set-up, though I've never had one who works from home. Jonathon Kellerman's books have or had a psychologist who did that and it sounded cozy to me.

I would be having the same thoughts about your T's private life. It's natural I think. She painted you a detailed picture and you are just exploring it more.

It's good that she said about the coming break while the remodeling will disrupt her office. It gives you time to talk about that, plan for it personally and in therapy--together you can decide how you'd like to pace things accordingly. I think it's going to be okay, biiv.

Thanks for sharing your good session and joy with us!