Hi there, Nat92. I'll just reply as I'm reading, as this is quite a long message, and I may forget if I reply at the end. xD


Ooo yeh. Tidy bedroom, tidy mind - am I right? I feel all over the place when my room is a tip; once its tidy, I start feeling a little together.


Agreed.


Back in the old days, I also had it all there for everyone to see. (I think at some point I realised I had OCD, and kept trying to tell people, but they weren't having it) My dad was the hardest person to convince I had some serious problems; it wasn't his fault, though. Back then, we saw a child-psychologist, who was a complete spoon, saying all EVERYTHING I did, was because of mummy and daddy splitting up; what a load of nonsense. ¬_¬

But yeah, when you're trying to say "Help!" and nobody listens, ... it's aggravating - if that's what you're getting at, then I totally relate. Luckily, as life went on, things started getting more obvious, I started getting worse, getting older so it wasn't just fobbed off with kid stuff, and so I ended up eventually getting some level of recognition (that I had these problems) and then some support. (meds, CBT, support offers I declined, and awaiting supported housing)


That's amazing. 'o.O I also did a lot of that moving around; it was horrible. So hard to settle. I came out of school with NO grades, thanks to bullying, home troubles, mental health, yadda yadda. My education came after school, when I taught myself. (lots of time on my hand, and the desire to learn, or "undo" the mess) So, I'd say you did quite well getting an A+ in English! Is English something you enjoy? 'cause that'd be a bonus.


Literally just said out-loud: "Aaaa, God yeh, you're telling me!" xD So basically, I know exactly how that feels! Particularly, because of my OCD. But yeah, it takes a lot of energy. >.<


And I'm betting it's double-standards, in that they can praise themselves and not get patronizing remarks.


I don't think it's wrong, but I do think family should be there for each other. (which they are not, for you)


Egh, God, I had a similar thing with my sister; she was like the "golden child", but me? I was the black sheep (still am, really) that does everything wrong and can't do anything right. It's no wonder I instantly feel guilty for crap that has nothing to do with me, ... but I'll find a way to make it about me. (not in a self-centered way, ... hopefully xD)

Yeah, I relate to a lot of that, unfortunately. :\

For me, it got easier as the years went by, ... I got smarter, my dad got smarter. As for my mother, I haven't seen her in over 10 years, nor heard even her voice, so I have no clue what the heck she thinks about me. (probably all sorts of horrible, crazy stuff. :\)

Keep sharing stuff here, if it helps get it out. I'd say you've earned it.

Take care.