Since dealing with child abuse memories, emotional deregulation, abandonment issues, etc. due to C-PTSD, people have been telling me to distract myself positively with activities and hobbies I enjoy. But I can't.

I'm an artist by profession (graphic design) and I have multiple creative hobbies. I'm also learning to play piano and I love to write. But I can't do any of these things. I know creativity is very healing but I'm creatively paralyzed. I'm almost crying right now thinking about it.

Why can't I do these things that I love and give my life some meaning? I hate wandering around the house all day just "thinking" about doing these things and wasting my day on the computer. I've tried forcing myself, but end up walking away from whatever I'm doing.

Has anyone had this problem? Any advise?