This place is far better than a hospital, it's voluntary and unlocked, but I wanted to leave anyway. They said, we can't stop you but well arrange for you to go to a hospital, it's not safe for you to go home. Sooo I started writing things out and realized I wanted to leave because I feel out of control, thus powerless and exposed, the real reason I want to leave is comfort level. But at home as much as it is comfortable and mostly in my control, I just distract myself instead of facing the things I need to face. Sooo my new saying to self is, sometimes in order to move forward I need to be Uncomfortable. I will survive this.

Feeling a bit better now that I've realized I need this. I think I still struggle with the idea I need to accept I have a MI that is life long, it's not going away if I ignore it. I need to manage it. I hate this illness.

So good at giving advice sooo bad at taking the advice.