Hi HuxleysParadox!

On the can't swallow pills issue.. I don't have dysphagia but I am taking an antidepressant called mirtazapine. It comes in a orodispersable form, meaning that you put the pill on your tongue and wait for it to disintegrate in your mouth before swallowing it. Maybe you could look into such pills?

As for therapy.. I hope you can overcome the obstacle of feeling guilty you matter, and your wellness matter. If therapy is going to help you, then it is okay about spending money on yourself, because you really really matter.