hey ishiru,

i want to let you know that your not the only one whos going through this problem. (well obviously... this is what this forum is about) But i myself am in the same footsteps as you. growing up as a guy was really not my thing, the roughness and the other things required to be a man... i just didnt really like that as a kid. so one sleepless night i decided to play a game with myself, pretend to be a girl. so whenever i was alone id just think of myself as a girl and do some girl things. (like... taking 5 min to style my hair or hop and skipping around... or never standing when going to the washroom) it was a fun game... but very saddening for me. i kept my feelings in the closet because everyone around me seemed to want me to grow up and be a strong man... or something... and back then i didnt know that it was possible to have a trans operation. when i found out that it was possible for someone to change sex, it just made me even more depressed that i didnt know.
years have passed and now im like... 17ish... and my feeling have stayed in the closet and i still play the same game i played as a kid. but now im really cracking up because of various comments that are said around me. the comments said around me really hurt me, like one time i was complaining that i was being forced to exercise too much. they said "men dont complain... and its the right amount of exercise a teenage boy should have" its like boy was enforced on me... the comments have really gotten out of hand and im very depressed that iv had to act like someone im not.
i really want to say something... i have said it to a select few, the family therapist just recommended a website that didnt help me at all, and my gf said that she wonders what its like to be the other sex too... dont think she knows what im saying... but i really feel like i need to say something, but im terrified of what the reaction will be if i say it to family and or friends. so i start by coming here to this forum and reading the OP of this thread. i learned some things by reading this thread and wanted to share my feeling about how awful this feeling feels.
anyway, if you want to talk to someone who is feeling the same way, just shoot me an email or something...

p.s. you really gotta have a mold in your... thats... um... wow