I bet the reason for a lot of those 'failures' was your depression. There are things that I was always able to do , or was good at before that since my depression I have failed epically at. I've come to realise that it's a vicious cycle. The more I feel like a failure and am distracted with anxiety and beating myself, the more my brain fails to function and I make stupid mistakes. Since I've started giving myself a break, I've been a lot more aware of stuff outside my head and a lot less incompetent! :L Since my depression I've stopped being able to do pirouettes in ballet, tumble turns in water, ride a bike, talk in public...when your head is in the game and you tell yourself you can't do something, you won't be able to do it. And I know simply realising it's in your head just makes it worse, as you can't change the way you think. So what you need to do is give up the struggle and feel pleased with what little you can do while feeling like this. In time, you'll begin to feel more calm and confident and have a clearer mind, and suddenly everything will be a lot easier.