I don't even know that I should be posting here, as my own case of "abuse" was hardly that... it seems kind of insignificant compared to the pain many of you have suffered adn the bravery you've showed in moving forward anyway, or trying to So I'm sorry if I my concerns seem rather petty, but I did want to get some opinions on this. Thanks.

Do you still care about your abuser at all? I mean, if the relationship was love-hate and there were good and bad times, now that it's over do you find yourself seeing them and still feeling affection/closeness with them? I do, and it's really kind of scary.

I mean, I know it wasn't her fault. She's so messed up, and I was just the person who she primarily took that out on. But she's gotten "better" recently, and I see her more often, and it's like... almost like nothing happened. That's probably just me blocking out the bad memories, but when she's around something inside me rails against the fact that I can still talk with her and laugh with her. I just don't know WHAT to think.

I think want to hate her again, because then I'd feel safe. Hating her would be concrete, at least.

Thanks much!