Hello everyone! It was 2011 when the following happened. I had an extreme fear of cutting part of my body. Whenever an intrusive thought emerged, I had to respond and give a reason why I was not guilty; my obsessions were of moral nature and occurred almost all the time. I was so anxious of suddenly losing control, which could lead to hurting myself. The anxiety and fear were enormous, and I knew from the depth that the judgments of my intrusive thoughts were wrong, but the mere knowing did not help reduce the destructive emotions.

One day while sitting on my couch, I thought I had to overcome the anxiety caused by my obsessions and therefore the obsessions themselves: so I paused responding to my intrusive thoughts, and the anxiety as a result gradually grew and grew up to the point where I felt like losing control. In the process, I was also trembling, my body was becoming covered in sweat, and I felt a cold sensation on my skin. The final step to take in this tormenting process was to believe in myself, which also implies no need for reassurance from others. In the end, I felt a triumphant state of relief and unconditional confidence. And these obsessions disappeared and never affected me again.

I found out much later that the method I had used to save myself, was called ERP (or Exposure and Response Prevention). The idea of​ this method is that you expose yourself to the thoughts, objects, or situations that cause anxiety and then perform no rituals to reduce the anxiety.

Today I also have auditory hallucinations, in addition to OCD; the latter is no longer about what I have described above, but about understanding: e.g. If I do not understand a sentence or a paragraph in a text then I cannot really continue reading, or if I do not understand a word or a concept clear enough I begin to ruminate. Auditory hallucinations tormented me in 2013, but their effect has become reduced today. Today I meet no psychologist, but according to my former psychologist, whom I met in 2013, one should use the same technique (ERP) to reduce the suffering caused by auditory hallucinations.

To me, ERP is ultimately about endurance. To avoid suffering means that that which causes suffering continues to cause suffering.