Thanks again for your support! 13,5 more hours to go, and even though I'm scared, I don't feel so alone in this anymore. I didn't think I would be able to make it through today without harmiing myself, but I actually did until now. And I've got a nice evening planned, will pack my bags for the overnight party tomorrow night and then browse itunes for a nice kids movie to keep my mind of things.
T also prescribed me a month of sleeping aids a few month ago (she didn't want me to take them longer to avoid any addiction), I kept a few for emergencies and I think tonight warrants taking one. So I should be ok until tomorrow...

I can't believe how many measures I'm taking to stay safe, so many first times for me this week...