Another thread got me thinking.

I am in therapy for what I call "people problems." I have no history of abuse, self-harm, drugs/alcohol, etc. I simply want more fulfilling relationships and I want to get to know myself. I'm in my mid-30's and I have almost no friends and I struggle with self-esteem which means I've also been single more years than I care to admit. I also have the nagging feeling I don't know myself at all.

Because emotional intimacy is so difficult for me I feel like only very recently I have started to trust my therapist (it's been 10 months.) I am terrified he's going to see growth in me and ship me off before I am feeling ready. I hate the idea of spending all this time, energy, and money only to be "forced out" once I really feel comfortable with him.

I have tried to bring this up but it continues to bug me. He assures me I can do therapy as long as I'm benefiting but I have trouble believing him. I just keep reminding myself my problems are "little fish" and he has better things to do than help me. We have addressed my "little fish" issue and he assured me I have every right to be there. We've spent a ton of time (almost 10 months lol!) processing our "relationship" because the idea of someone getting to know me is so profound and has been very, very painful and difficult with erotic transference thrown in on top of that!

I guess my question is - is there anyone out there who has done long-term depth-work with your therapist even though you have no trauma? Is it okay to do therapy simply to become more self-aware?

On a side note, my T thinks these fears stem from an idea I have that I am not worth someone's time or energy. I think he's onto something....