My pdocs was interesting..... she was fine but she said that given my vulnerability the ISTDP we had planned to do in July might not be the best fit After she suggested we try community resources in the meantime (which take FOR EVER) and I started crying, she and I came up with a plan for how we can make things more stable for me and maintain our therapy dates. Basically I cried straight for an hour.

Then later today, my T calls and says that she had an opening this afternoon, so I rushed down to her office to make that appt. It was only a half hour so short, but it was good to touch base with her and try and figure out what triggered me.

I just had a conversation with my roommate (who took me to the hospital) and he filled in the many blanks that I had completely forgotten. The last 3 days have been like a huge shmeer and I can't keep things straight. I'm trying to get a hold of my boss right now as I don't think it's a good idea for me to be at work tomorrow. My pdoc said that I'm in a bit of a delirium from the drugs that will likely last a couple of days.

They also put on my report that it was a suicide attempt, which I am adamant that it was not. I just wanted the pain to stop. I had no intent on killing myself.