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ECHOES said:
I also feel like you that I have been avoiding opportunities my T has put out there to talk more about things. Being dismissive about it. I think they completely understand that it is our way of saying "I'm not ready to talk about that yet" and if we could actually say that in session it would be a victory and would be very helpful. I have decided to try to do that next time.

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I actually did say that once, ECHOES. T and I were talking about a topic I did not want to be talking about. Just wasn't ready to deal with it. In mid conversation I said rather abruptly "I don't want to talk about this" and I changed the subject. I guess it was kind of rude, but he didn't bat an eye. As the weeks passed and our relationship developed and we worked on other things, I was able to return eventually to this topic. Sometimes I would flit in and out and touch on it, but we are now able to engage sometimes for an entire session on it. Just takes time.

Alexandra, you are so interested in your therapy and so motivated. I have confidence you will get where you need to go with this T. He sounds very patient and kind.

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he muttered something about 'well we haven't really begun yet...' i think he meant that we haven't begun interpreting yet (and when he tries i tend to be dismissive) and that we haven't begun to talk about our present relationship (transference) in therapy yet.

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That's a really interesting interchange. Sounds like you are getting closer to being able to make the transference more overt. I remember how thrilled I was when my T made his first major transference interpretation. On the one hand, I didn't much like it. But on the other hand, inside I was saying, "hey, cool, a transference interpretation!" I have made the TI's also on occasion and he is always very interested. Those TI's can take you a long way in therapy.

Good luck, ak, so nice to have you back.