Hi, some background on my situation:

I have been dating this girl in Australia for almost three years now. I live in Canada so it's a long distance relationship however, it's just as real and I feel a lot for her. We have seen each other in person for the first time a couple of months ago she stayed here for two months. This anxiety problem sort of arose initially when we had met in person and my parents found out about all of this. I still live with them (I'm 22 years old) so they were bound to find out. They had a huge fit due to them not liking her appearance she is over weight however I honestly find her gorgeous anyway that and the distance. I was yelled at, cussed at, my parents had an emotional breakdown literally - I know completely out of hand tell me about it and basically my self esteem went way down. Regardless I still spent time with her and I talk to her still to this day. I love her so much I could honestly see myself spending my life with her but I get this lump in my throat now and almost heightened senses and heart rate when someone mentions our relationship or I initially talk to her.

All I can think of is this brought on depression and anxiety in me. And I so badly just want to be 100% and happy with my choices and be with her. I am done with what my parents think I am going to do it regardless it's just will these feelings go away eventually?

Also, recently I've noticed that I do prefer bigger women when it comes to looks. It wasn't something I thought about when I first started dating her I mean I found her attractive but that wasn't even on my mind. Now that people mention it though I do like larger sized women it's just more attractive to me. I don't understand why people feel the need to ridicule others for this.