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Old Jun 05, 2014, 06:34 PM
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waterknob1234 waterknob1234 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Feb 2014
Location: in school
Posts: 1,773
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe View Post
Miserable again. I keep thinking I wish I could die, by this I mean that I wish it were possible for me to die. It isn't possible to die, I'm already dead, this is eternity............depression. Somewhere, there is a voice goading me, saying "Go on, you've nothing to lose, you'll be no worse off if you try. You might even be better off, you'd know for sure that you can't die."

The only problem for me is that I haven't the energy to think about how, so here I am stuck with a voice that is mocking and goading and taunting, laughing at my inability to take action, adding to my humiliation, exposing my inadequacies, demonstrating my worthlessness and my hopelessness.

This is forever, why can't I just accept that, the depression is enough on its own, I don't need tormenting in this way.
I have had that same voice taunt and goad me, saying "you are better off dead." I'm beginning to wonder if it is my inner demon voice because then another voice tells me all the reasons I have to stay alive, my children, dog, church ministry, etc. Depression is miserable. After a while you lose the energy to fight it. Know that you are not alone and we all care about you here,
Thanks for this!
healingme4me, Nammu, TheOriginalMe