hamstergirl, I wonder if you realize that you said something very positive when you said "Of course, my mind plays games with me." That shows that at least at some level you know that all of those negative things you listed are not true. Almost all of the statements you listed are just plain false, and the rest are things you can't possibly know for sure, so they are just guesses. So even though you believe those things, some part of you knows that they are really lies.

Now, there are certain facts and realities of your life. But believing those lies adds to that real-life challenges you face. What I would really love to see is for you to take that intellect and writing skill you possess, and write down all the reasons that just one of those negative things isn't true.

I know that all those things you said about having a disability are true. But I guess the really important thing is, do you want to be one of the two thirds, or would you rather be one of the one-third that does find happiness?

*hugs*
mj

<font color=green> If she spins fast enough then maybe the broken pieces of her heart will stay together, but even a gyroscope can't spin forever</font color=green>