The university gives out food cards that can be used on campus, but I've used them 3 times in the past 5 years and they cut me off because it's supposed to be a one time only thing. The chaplain has an emergency fund that I've used twice in 5 years. I don't know if she's in during the summer, she said she wants to catch up with me when she saw me in a play last summer, but I don't want to go there when she's expecting to catch up and I'm just asking for money. The university has a food bank, I've put in an application, I just need to wait for them to put a food bag together for me. I have quite a bit of pasta and a huge jar of peanut butter. It's the stuff I can't get from food banks or handouts, like shampoo, toothpaste, cat food, bus tickets, bottled water (there's lead in my house pipes) I need about $20 for the meds that aren't covered.

I don't have a credit card, I maxed my old one out while manic once and opened a line of credit with my bank to pay off the credit card so there would be less interest. At my parents' request (since they cosigned the line of credit), the bank has me blacklisted from opening any new cards until I pay off the line of credit. And even before that happened I tried to open a new card and was rejected because I'm on disability.

No family to help. Maybe if things get totally desperate I can get my dad to lend me enough for my meds. I don't know if I'd be allowed to donate plasma - how do you look into that? I'm in Canada. I'm banned from donating blood because I'm bisexual and transgender and take testosterone. So I might be banned from donating plasma too? I know gay guys who lie and don't disclose they're gay so they can donate blood, but I'm pretty conspicuous, they'd ask for my health card and my health card has a big glaring F underneath gender. Hell I'd donate eggs if it got me through the month except I'm pretty sure the testosterone stopped all that nonsense.

Thanks for helping me talk through this. I really feel like my options are limited.

On top of it all, I was supposed to hear back if I got into the play today, and I didn't hear anything so I'm probably not in. And I can't figure out why, I've done this production for the past 2 years, they know me, they like me, I do a good job. They also really needed male actors. I feel absolutely worthless right now.