This morning I woke up and immediately felt terrible. I ate breakfast, but didn't do anything else all day. I just sat here on the couch and stared at the wall. Whenever I heard something I would start to freak out, then it would fade and I would continue to stare at the wall. I feel completely worthless and empty. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have an appointment with my therapist set up, but I'm absolutely terrified that something is going to change with my depression before then. I can't go to the hospital, it makes everything worse. I start to shake uncontrollably and become unresponsive.

I hate my live so much right now.