i don't have anything specific to say, i've just been feeling so terribly low lately. i've gained weight and i can't cope. Today i slept in late and then laid around on the couch all day. I don't want to move or talk or think, I want to crawl in a hole and never come out.

I quit therapy back in April and have made some impressive backwards steps since then. On the one hand I want to go back but I never felt like I made any progress anyway. So on the other hand I think I'm a huge fat failure and therapy could never help me because I could never be helped.

I don't know what I'm looking for but I feel really lonely and defeated. Theres just a lump in my throat and I can't get out of this funk.