I don't often read here anymore as a while ago I finally accepted the fact that after seeing over thirty therapists in the course of my (rather long) life, therapy and therapists were not going to help me - and as OP thickntired notes - were in fact doing me damage on an ongoing basis, often in a subtle and insidious sort of way, not always as open trauma.

So continuing to read a therapy board wasn't particularly helpful to me - but for some reason I decided to catch up today and saw this thread, had to post my two cents' worth.

I think part of what can keep some of us pushing and pushing and pushing to get help from a therapist is the desperation and despair that stems from having to face the fact that maybe there really isn't anyone out there who is right for us, maybe there isn't a saviour at all. I note that Wysteria says she went through a number of Ts before finding the one that was right for HER - and that too is part of what keeps us hanging in there, the hope and belief that there is that right person out there. I suspect (and know for sure in my case) that I had to keep believing that because to not be helped, to never get better, to always be as I am was unthinkable. A bit like having had to believe our dysfunctional and damaging parents were really well intentioned and good and so we stuffed our own negative perceptions in favour of maintaining this false belief and end up believing that we are the bad flawed unlovable ones... And end up going through life looking for the good enough parent, the good enough therapist.

Well in my case the good enough therapist doesn't exist and I finally reached the point where I accepted that actually, it was them and not me. Not that I was unfixable or that failed therapy was my fault. I categorically state here that it was inadequacy, arrogance, failure and downright incompetence on all of my T's parts that screwed up my attempts at getting help from them. So yeah, maybe for some of us it's necessary to stand back and go, I'm not going to get the help that I need (a specific and personal thing, as Wysteria rightly says) and continuing to put my faith in therapy and therapists is a damaging and counterproductive thing to do.

It's hard and frightening though, giving up the hope that someone will save you. Even harder and more frightening knowing that you have to save yourself. But better than continuing in false hope and being damaged, and yes I believe that therapists are eminently capable of causing permanent damage.

Good luck to everyone who is struggling in similar situations.