Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I'm sorry I was away for 2 days so I'm just reading the responses now. It helped to go over the whole session in my mind, therefore realizing that T was acting the way she always does but I couldn't relax enough. So I can feel the good feelings but I didn't get them from holding her hand. I felt rushed because there wasn't enough time left.
Thank you. I immediately went into "all or nothing" mode,I think. If T can't make the feelings happen, then it's all up to me. I can't count on her for anything. I know that's not true. Not every session is going to be 100% productive. I get disappointed easily; I have to work on that.
Thank you. I erroneously thought every session was going to be as good as the last 3 or 4 have been. Therapy doesn't work like that.
I realized something else. I miss the excited, in love feelings I used to feel a lot of the time with her. Now I just feel like she's just a "regular person" like she told me once. This is a Good sign but shows too clearly what I'm missing in my life.  |
This is a really hard realization. I had this a few years ago with a woman I was very close to (I used to see her for reflexology and ended up telling her more than I should) we became very close and it all went horribly wrong when I felt abandoned by her and realized she is just a regular person. She sees many, many clients, has a family (happy and large) of her own. It was really painful. I relate. I moved on and I still see her very occasionally for a treatment or a coffee. It isnt the same. My feelings have changed and I see her as just a regular person. All those "in love" feeling have gone. It hurts and does make you look at your own life. But I think it is a sign of healing too. I am all over the place atm. Sorry I am not making much sense.
