I'm sorry you lost your friend. I know that must be hard.

As for meds, I tried but can't stand the depression, which gets worse when I don't take any. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for meds or even for some of the meds that didn't work. But I'm at least stable right now, which is better than I was.

It's certainly a personal decision because I don't think any come with some kind of side effect that you have to put up with. I know personally, I will never be off meds of some sort. I'm just trying to stay ahead of the dark hole.

Hope whatever decision you make that it works for you and you feel better soon.