don't sell yourself short. just being able to post about it shows that you have some sort of skills to cope. and your made it through the night to post about it as well. so you do have some strengths. being able to recognize that you aren't suicidal and that they are only bad thoughts is also a strength. so it sounds like you are doing things to cope. maybe if you post more specifically about what you are having difficulty coping with you can get some feedback and assistance with some coping skills to help you out. hang in there and take care.