I believe everyone is more psychologically complicated than just what they say. Often clear communication, "I love my partner" means a great deal more than just the words or what I, hearing it, think it means or, the other person, saying it, think it means.

Look at the slight convolution of what you ask? -- "in response to me wondering why she is so totally unable/to grasp what I try to tell her." I think I understand what you are asking and I agree that "I'm trying to meet you where you are at" can seem a non sequitur but I don't know how else one could answer?

1. I am totally unable to grasp what you tell me because I am stupid.

2. I do grasp what you tell me very well but you are too stupid to grasp that

3. It is not about whether I do/not grasp what you say but whether you grasp another person's response to what you say. -- In other words, if you do not understand why she does not seem to understand; is the problem in her understanding or your understanding of her feedback?

I think her "message" is that she is trying to understand where the two of you are not connecting, trying to find where you are and be there so you will see her and "meet up" -- I guess it's not working? :-)