Sorry you feel so dark seawhale. These days pass and maybe become a lighter shade. I am in medium grey phase unyet the last few weeks I too felt like you. Thosr in depression dont know when we will feel a little better but we do even if not for long.

I too have dreadful workplace problems and I cry sometimes on my way home from feeling so supressed and dejected. I get slyly cleverly bullied. Im telling u so u know how I can understand.

You are not lucky to have a job. You are fortunate to have an income from this job and you will b lucky the day you find a decent nice workplace. You dont deserve to spend half your day unhappy and though workplaces are not controlled and rarely change...I wish u a better job. My coping mechanisms are to put an earphone in one ear and listen to music to manage my mood. I also cut off from them because I see them as very childish and quite honestly Im bored sick of them their conversations and their games. If I knew them in real life, in my neighbourhood I wouldnt even look at them. Gain perspective by imagining your co worker in an extrrnal setting. What can u see?

Friends can b tricky too. For now , know u have friends here. Everyone here has or is in turmoil and are usually extremely sensitive types who really can feel how u feel. I for one.

Having a gf or wife is not the be all and end all of life and you are only 30 still. Be patient but you do have to look in the right places and put alot of effort in. Its one of the hardest things for anyone to find.So dont be worried about it personally. One of lifes mysteries..romantic love.