Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewoman
Your assessment could be spot on. I have tried several times to get her to seek treatment (in writing - I'm too terrified of her to discuss it face to face) and she responds by telling people how her 'crazy' daughter thinks she's the one who needs help. Either that, or she simply ignores it all together.
10 years ago when I first went into therapy, a couple of sessions into it, my therapist handed me a book called "Understanding the Borderline Mother". The descriptions of the 'fairy tale' types were so uncomfortably familiar, especially the witch, and to some extent, the queen. For the first time I felt validated and had a word for a pattern of behaviour I had been struggling to understand my whole life.
Since there has never been a formal diagnosis of BPD, I am certainly willing to consider other possibilities. That being said, I have had extensive sessions with two therapists and three psychiatrists (not all at once, obviously) who all told me she probably had BPD, so that's what I went with since I can't ask her ANYTHING without her going off on me.
Thank you so much for your input waiting4.  |
The only problem with that is, just as most if not all personality disorders
cannot be diagnosed properly before the age of 18... unless those therapists and / or pdocs actually examined your mother themselves...the 'probably' diagnosis means squat. The few instances you offered regarding living with your mother, and other interactions with her, mirror mine and my mother
was diagnosed NPD (of course in her day it had a much more convoluted name). In fact, when my parents divorced her pdoc (who my fathers lawyer forced her to see) wanted to recommend she NOT get custody, however because it was her doctor, she refused him permission to offer any opinion to the court. My father folded anyway, as he usually did around her. As I've said, he was a good man but utterly terrified of her. BTW, how did I know that? My mother told my brother and myself. Gleefully.
In any case, your mother is toxic to your mental health and you're better off without her, IMO.
Take care