Maybe i'm in the minority here, but it wouldn't be the first time...I don't think it's withholding love; it's withholding enmeshment, which to many of us, might seem like withholding love. An easy way to explain this is--if your therapist were to give you what you needed, she'd be sort of 'people pleasing', rather than being a separate person from you.

Attachment is one-sided, child/immature love. Mature love involves being separate from another (but connected/bonded). So to answer your question: when a therapist withholds enmeshment, it helps us construct psychological boundaries, which provides us with the framework needed for mature love.

A therapist giving us or becoming what we want/need is not love. A therapist's unconditional acceptance, compassion, support, validation, etc., is love.