A little back story would help here. For example, are you still with a partner? If so, and that's all up in the air still, my answer would be that it's selfish to go out looking for a new relationship and lover until you get your current situation resolved. Or ... hmmm ... let me think of examples ... if you have a partner who's in a long-term care facility and has no hope of improvement, I'd say it's all right to look, being as honest and discreet as possible. And if you're single and free, there's nothing selfish at all. But not knowing the circumstances, it's really difficult to put a value judgment on something like this. Circumstances do matter.