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Originally Posted by Citrine
Sorry you feel so dark seawhale. These days pass and maybe become a lighter shade. I am in medium grey phase unyet the last few weeks I too felt like you. Thosr in depression dont know when we will feel a little better but we do even if not for long.
I too have dreadful workplace problems and I cry sometimes on my way home from feeling so supressed and dejected. I get slyly cleverly bullied. Im telling u so u know how I can understand.
You are not lucky to have a job. You are fortunate to have an income from this job and you will b lucky the day you find a decent nice workplace. You dont deserve to spend half your day unhappy and though workplaces are not controlled and rarely change...I wish u a better job. My coping mechanisms are to put an earphone in one ear and listen to music to manage my mood. I also cut off from them because I see them as very childish and quite honestly Im bored sick of them their conversations and their games. If I knew them in real life, in my neighbourhood I wouldnt even look at them. Gain perspective by imagining your co worker in an extrrnal setting. What can u see?
Friends can b tricky too. For now , know u have friends here. Everyone here has or is in turmoil and are usually extremely sensitive types who really can feel how u feel. I for one.
Having a gf or wife is not the be all and end all of life and you are only 30 still. Be patient but you do have to look in the right places and put alot of effort in. Its one of the hardest things for anyone to find.So dont be worried about it personally. One of lifes mysteries..romantic love.
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Indeed I feel so dark, I always feel that I want to cry too, I stayed strong for too long in my life, now i feel like i cannot stand or afford these circumstances anymore.
This is the problem in workplaces that you are obliged to deal with certain people on daily basis, these people you did not chose, they are there by no control of you, totally agree with you that some of them if they are in my life somehow out of work I would not even look at them. And I can not deny that also some people are respectable, but few and yes friends can be tricky, I met a lot of friends like this type.
Having a girl friend or wife really may enhance anyone's life quality and too hard to find as well.
Really agree with all your words and wish you all best bro.
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Originally Posted by Pierro
Seawhale, You sound like a lovely guy and I do hope that you find someone who will love you for who you are. Until then may I sugest that if you are really unhappy in your job to maybe look elsewhere for one. I know its very difficult to work with an intolerable person, but you can ride it out until something else comes along. I agree with a lot of the other posts, that girlfriend/ marriage is not the be all and the end all, the best of marriages are hard work. Best wishes and good luck. Think of this as a new chapter in your life, and good things will come you will see.
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Yes, I am trying to look for another job, it usually takes times and will not come easily on one day, just I will keep the hope to find a good place of work, until then I will try to cope and adapt my self with what is around me.
Thank you a lot and wish you the best of luck too.
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Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet
I'm sorry you feel this way, and I can kind of relate.
Some questions.
Have you had a girlfriend or partner before?
What kind of job do you do?
Have you been able to make friends in the past?
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I had one girlfriend before and one fiancé, I and my fiancé were deeply in love with each other, and before marriage with few months, some small problems happened then these problems escalated with interference of both families and the engagement ended up being broken up. Bad luck as usual, I saw black days till I got over her, it was not easy at all to be in a relationship for one year, talking and going out everyday and then suddenly everything went away, i was just make anything to make her happy.
My job is in civil engineering.
Yes I made friends before - not too many, but never succeeded in finding a kind friend who is not tricky, I got hurt many times from my friends, although I was always helpful, selflessness and kind with them, but they have never appreciated, I have only one friend now, we do not meet a lot (i am happy with that because I really want now to give a distance to avoid any more hurts), he was my manager before.
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Originally Posted by mgb46
Hi Seawhale,
You sound like a very caring person who puts his needs second. Many women find that very attractive. You are only in your thirties, you have your best years ahead! I'm in my mid-forties and have been through many failed relationships throughout my life. We always want what we don't seem to have at the moment. Put yourself out there, you will find the one. Be patient, she will come when you least expect it.
Stay positive and start looking for another job. Being happy at work manifests itself in many ways and can make us depressed very easily. This alone can keep you in a weird funk, isolating, making it harder to meet positive people. Start with changing some of the small things you don't like about your life, and work your way up!
Good Luck!!
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Thanks you a lot for advice dear, yes relationships always like this, and I can say that more than 90% of anyone's problems are related to people around him (friends, family, coworkers, wife, girlfriend) which result into that people whose are too sensitive or kind are always miserable - unfortunately, but it seems that this is how the world works
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Originally Posted by depressedalaskan
(((Seawhale))) Remember when you suffer from depression, depression will tell you many negative things. Depression wants to control you. The worse you feel the stronger depression becomes. I see that others have posted all of the good things in your post so I wont go into that. A lover: In my case at this time there will be no one. Depression has me stuck in my home most of the time. I keep thinking about doing stuff to meet someone but I just think about it. I did meet someone online once. I was with her for 8 years. She is great but my depression got to bad. In a way depression took her from me too. Do your best that's all anyone could ask for. If you get to down post on here and someone will answer.
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Depressions is the worst illness i have ever seen, it is even harder than physical illness, and it affects everyone mentally and physically, and it is always developed further due to the conditions and circumstances around us.
Many thanks to you and wish you the best of luck dear.