Hi all...sorry to bother you. I had T today at 5 and within 5 minutes of starting I started crying and cried the entire time to some degree.

I was honest with her about the multiple signs of depression I could see in me. She had me rate my depression 0-10...0-no depression and 10-the worst depression ever and I rated honestly at a 7.

From there we discovered that a LARGE portion of this depression is situational with grandma being outside the home for care. As well as my entire being...being defined by my caregiving for grandma. Continued talk around grandma led to near hysterical crying periodically.

I'm confused about what to do? Pull away or enmesh more with grandma. Seeing grandma is the only relief I get from all these insane feelings. Yet will only at some point create more intensely painful emotions if I continue to enmesh with grandma.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As well as lots of other things to think about like...

What am I passionate about?

How to find purpose in my life without attaching it to someone or something?

Is caregiving really what I should be doing anymore?

How to un-enmesh myself from grandma without completely losing it?

Etc, etc, etc...

Sorry this got long but thanks for reading.