You bring up excellent points for me to talk with him about. Interestingly, I did read that book you suggested and in fact, have told my T that I was going to give it to him. I just haven't done it yet...

I think he was fine with the attachment when I first told him last September but slowly over time it has gotten stronger not weaker. That probably is making him uncomfortable. This is what I sense when I am trying to be more honest about what I'm feeling between sessions.

Mostly what he has said about transference is 'it's not about him', the therapeutic sessions are false environments and we only see the nice, funny, empathetic side of our T's...so goes the fantasy creating I guess. I genuinely like and respect him though and putting a label on that seems dismissive of our feelings doesn't it? I mean we are adults, we know how we like, respect, don't like, feel comfortable with, appreciate etc...

I know that what is happening now has happened in my personal life with other men. The difference is the uniqueness of this relationship and if we can get over the cycle we are in, I'll bet this will all be more profound for me in terms of changing this behavior...

You all and your threads are helping me more every day. Believe me, I'd like this cycle to slow up for me so we can start accomplishing things again.