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Old Apr 01, 2007, 12:36 AM
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sunrise sunrise is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2007
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Believe me, I'd like this cycle to slow up for me so we can start accomplishing things again.

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Are you sure your attachment stands in the way of your accomplishing things? Again, I wonder is this something T told you or your own idea? I don't think a strong attachment necessarily prevents someone from making progress; exploring it could help a person move forward and build the relationship into one that is even stronger and allows them to share more readily with T. In my own case, I see that I spent several months with T building our relationship, and I didn't even realize it. When later I bemoaned the fact that I "wasted" so much time when I should have been more goal directed, T told me it had not been time wasted, but extremely valuable for us, and that we couldn't have gotten to where we are now without that period.

That will be interesting if you share the In Session book with your T. That book addresses the idea of whether transference is always about someone else, or whether those feelings can actually be about the T. I don't think transference is always necessarily synonymous with attachment. I think it's possible to be strongly attached without having transference all the time. I have bonded with my T because he is so nice, so warm, so empathetic, so attuned, etc. He "gets" me. I appreciate all of that, and it makes me really like the guy, but it's not necessarily transference, although I have that sometimes too.

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the therapeutic sessions are false environments and we only see the nice, funny, empathetic side of our T's...so goes the fantasy creating I guess

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I think therapist self disclosure can help us see that they are not perfect. My T does not believe there is anything "false" about our relationship. He says we have connected and what we have is "real" and healthy. I know I sometimes feel like it is not truly "real," and it helps me that T thinks it is. It would be difficult for me to take if T told me how "false" it was. ((((hugs))))
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