(( biiv ))

Thank you!

Acceptance does feel good. This experience helped ME to evaluate HER in those first few sessions too. Many times I am so self-concious, worried what the T will think.. worried T will think I have no reason to be there or that I am beyond help..lol.., that I fail to examine how the T is responding to me. So this really opened up the opportunity to pay attention to how she responded to me and how I felt about it, to things that I was looking for such as the ability in the T to allow silences and not jump in to fill them up, a sense of humor, a neutrality that I could feel and would allow me to put things out there without worrying where they will 'land'..that is, without worrying about judgement because I know they will land in that neutrality. Things like that. So I had the chance to do that; to identify the things I was looking for and to determine if they were being offered. That's something I could now take to any T if I had to (thinking years ahead here!). And having identified these things, looked for them, found them, I'm now aware of them in session and it has a comforting and calming effect on me. Already I have said more about some things than I have ever said to anyone in all my years of on again/off again therapy.

ak is right, too. nothing risked, nothing gained. kinda defines therapy itself.